A few days ago, I finally let go of my longest creative project ever —  my lifestyle and travel blog, The Wandering Dreamer. It came a bit of a shock for some of my friends who have seen my progress through the years to the point that they sent me messages asking if I was okay. Some of the friends I made online were surprised too.

During the end of 2017, I was already feeling jaded by the pressure of keeping such a project. I didn't understand the direction of where I wanted it to go. I was doing more things that I thought was what my readers wanted, but I actually didn't like or enjoy.

I let my hunger for high website statistics to dictate what I do. I missed a lot of moments because I needed to document it or I needed to take note of it so I can have something to write about on my blog. I had to endure several unpleasant travel experiences because "This could make a good post for the blog." 

The move from Blogspot to Squarespace made it even worse because I was already paying for a monthly website subscription. I have to work on my blog even harder so it can maintain the monthly expenses. Hence, the Facebook Ads, the shameless plugs, and all the other desperate attempts to gather more website traffic.

It was all too much.

I've tried so hard to save it, but the entire idea of keeping a lifestyle and travel blog didn't connect with my soul anymore. There's got to be something else I can work on or I can be aside from being a blogger.


So The Wandering Dreamer had to die in order for me to start working on something different and maybe a lot better.




DEATH CAN BE A GOOD THING


A week ago, I watched a Youtube video of Donald Glover's 2018 Grammys interview and he was asked about the end of Childish Gambino (his music alter-ego). He said "I think endings are good because it forces things to get better" and I highly resonated with that.


As creatives, sometimes we think that our work can never have an end because it's always "in progress." There's always something that we can improve on. But if it doesn't sit well with you anymore or you feel like it has already run its course, it's absolutely okay for it to die. How else can you start something new without any ending?


"Creative Deaths" can mean a lot of things, not just an absolute end of one project like what I did with mine. It may mean the end of a phase of a bigger and longer undertaking.



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I never fully understood this until recently: everything always ends in one way or another. If my blog didn't close at this point, it's simply postponing the inevitable. I'm glad that I've made this decision before I nosedived for the worse.


So what's next? I don't know yet. But the "not knowing" part is what makes this whole creative journey exciting.


Pearl Aton is a freelance creative from the Philippines. She posts her work and thoughts on her website, pearlaton.com.

3 comments

  1. I've been a long time fan of your blog, Pearl! It's sad that you've decided to close down The Wandering Dreamer but I'm excited for what you're cooking up behind the scenes. Good luck!

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