I know that life has been overwhelmingly hard for you the last months. Nonetheless, It’s good to see you smiling and fighting again. But you know what, I think you deserve an apology. I am sorry. I truly am. I apologize for the moments I allowed temporary circumstances to cloud your mind; for the times I didn’t take care of you, your health especially; for doubting your capability to fly; and for the moments I leave you behind–shattered and empty. I am sorry. 

I know that you are strong, but instead, I chose to stay in loneliness and negativity. I know that you have a heart that love, but I chose to feel ungrateful and empty despite the many blessings. I know you love life, but I allowed you to believe that there’s nothing worth looking forward to tomorrow anymore. I know you haven’t been yourself lately because I chose to be defeated. Again, I am sorry. And I mean this with all my heart. 

I’m happy to see that you’re starting to go back on track. I guess it’s not too late to start over again. And I thank you for giving me another chance and accepting me to be on this journey with you again. I have finally come to realize that my relationship with you is the most important relationship I’d have next to my relationship with the Lord. I won’t promise anything, but I will try to fight with you, and for you. You might not understand everything that’s happening in your life right now, but later you will. We will. And we will conquer this battle with hope and faith. Remember: God gives His hardest battles to His strongest soldiers. So keep your head up, little warrior. We can do all things together through His grace. I am now here again–more willing to walk and embrace life and its flaws with you. We’re a team. And before I forget, little warrior, I want you to know: I love you. I do. 

Yours sincerely, 
your stronger self


Marah Roque is a a 23-year-old Filipino storyteller based in New Zealand. 

Photo by Carli Jeen on Unsplash.

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