I was too ambitious for my own good, so much so that I had wildly envisioned myself as an accomplished writer working for a magazine in the metro. I had mapped out flying on a plane away from home as I say goodbye to the familiar life of the hometown I have been accustomed to and set out to live in an apartment I could freely decorate the way I want. Quite cinematic, I guess, isn’t it? 

You could say that I was pretty resolute and gritty about my main goal because it took me an entire year of searching and regaining through every rejections to land my first ever job. In case you wanted to know, no I am not living the dream (yet), instead I am in a place where I have never expected I would find myself in. 

Never in my wildest dreams have I imagined setting foot in the academe. Mid-summer I was employed at a local college as in-charge for the Testing and Admissions under the Guidance and Counseling Center. Having earned a degree in Psychology and a Psychometrician license (one I earned fresh out of college), I administer admission examinations of the Undergraduate and Graduate studies, employment tests as well as psychological assessments given to the entire student body. It is also a part of my work to evaluate the professors’ performance in their classes and formulate a research which can greatly contribute to the community around me. Just five months into my first job and I tell you, none of those days were easy. 

There were challenging superiors much older than I and parents of students I had dealt with who made it difficult to be kind. Most days I thrived at my productivity and felt the busyness take over me as I fumbled many times adjusting  and allowing myself to get used to all of the tasks I needed to accomplish. Can you believe I have given tests to over four hundred enrolees for the school year, about thirty employment tests to the new faculty and process all of those test results as data? 

What lead me into thinking then was how big of a responsibility the job requires. I cannot believe that my first job as a twenty-one year-old fresh graduate was far flung from my innermost desire of becoming an artist and a writer. But I guess it is true what they say, things do not always go as planned. There were no magazine shoots to assist to, no fittings to help out and no articles to write about instead there were spreadsheets and students and parents and statistics in my daily encounter that I have slowly learned to live with every waking day. 

Somebody once told me that the initial months of starting out as a working adult can be the most demanding and true enough beginnings like this really was so mentally and physically exhausting. I go home incredibly tired after a long day’s work yet at the same time I have also never felt this accomplished knowing that I’ve survived even when there were times I had zero motivation, doubting myself if I could ever go on.

At times I would think, sit back for a while and question my life choices or wonder about the main plan God has for me. Yes, this was not exactly what I initially wanted most but I bet this is what He thinks I need for now. For that I am thankful because having my first job in the school setting is a space where I know I can grow most and learn a thing or two about so many other things life hasn’t thrown at me yet. 

I’d like to see everything as a start of a long career ahead. You don’t always get stuck in one place because there are so many destinations to see and experience along the way.

As for the dream, I know it can wait. I’ll get there soon.


Alve Jane Aranton is a 21 year-old writer from Cagayan de Oro, PH. She is a lover of words, coffee and cats. Alve blogs her feelings at She Is The Paper Back Writer.

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